The end of a year long song!

Okay so its the end of one year and the start of a new one!


i feel like i have done so much as a person!


got a job while studying, went to Reading 2010, got over one Ex and met a nice guy, realised my real friends from my fake ones, met a load of new people and started to discover who i am. ;)

Anyway i thought i'd end this year with a long deserved poem for my friend Josh.

I'm sorry i wasn't holding your hand, I'm sorry i wasnt by your side when that car came gliding along and hit you from behind. we never were the best of friends but you definalty was a good one, from when you promised you'd always be there from when you thought that girl was the one.
but one day ill hold your hand and be by your side ill tell you that i've missed you as we fly into the sky. nothing has been the same since you left us on this earth but one day we will see you again and we will laugh about old times, we will ask you what you have been doing and if you are fine. but for now ill look into the sky and wish you were still here because nobody deserves to die young and it always comes to light this time of year.
it will have been two years since you left us on the 25th of january but soon one day we will laugh and play and look down on our friends and family
you always was a funny guy a laugh to have around but the time has come to end this one year long song and see what the future has got planned!
R.I.P Joshua Mark Callaghan
24.9.92- 25.1.09

BRING ON 2011....Please be a good year!!!!!!!

Happy new year everyone!
i have a lot of poems coming your way...for ALL emotions =D

The owner of the music box.

the owner of the music box sits in woe. wondering what she should do, wondering where to go, what are her priorities and what needs to come first.

how to get things right and how to prevent them from getting worse.


she sits in the doubts and wonders what if, if its what she really wanted.
to leave her friends and family so quick, she has worries and fears, shes scared and cries tears

but she has to grow up and be the best she can stand on that stage and come up with a plan, get people to see her talent and for who she really is and to show them that no matter what that she is better.then.all.of.this!

Blow my mind.

Im lying on the floorboard with the sun on my face,as I hear the birds calling i feel this deep embrace.

from the guy who makes me smile and gets rid of all my fears,

the one who holds my hand and wipes away all my tears,

this time last year i was sitting on my own, thinking about what to do, thinking about where to go.

i used to see you around town with atleast one girl, walking through the shopping centre or up the highstreet,everytime i saw you i would slightly jump to my feet

I know this is just an end of summer fling but flings there not really my thing, im not one for soppy stuff, down to earth relationships yeah thats my sort of stuff but my love, you make me go all warm inside oh oh oh you blow my mind.

I used to pretend to be a princess waiting for my prince but by the time i was thirteen i didn't believe in that shit. and when i was fourteen i had my first boyfriend,he hurt me and then i was alone again. but when i was fifthteen was when i came closest to love, it lasted around about three months and then he was done, he told me i was beautiful and i believed all the lines but mummy always said Essex boys always lie. when i was sixteen i picked a christian boy because i knew he wouldnt hurt me or toy with my mind, instead he was intense and as serious as fuck and then i got confused and he just gave up

it feels like ive known you a stupidly long time, i think about you and how you make me smile, how sweet and geniune you really are, i think i might get hurt but i dont care, because i guess it will all be worth it in the end but my love you make me go all warm inside oh oh oh you really blow my mind.

and when i was seventeen i went to a festival where i met this guy who seemed pretty cool, it took me a while to realise who he was, the guy in the shopping centre who was always with them girls, we spent the weekend together seeing bands and talking and it wasnt long till he came around he asked me out and it started from there, i dont know how its going to end yet nor do i care

but my love oh you make me go warm inside

oh my love oh oh oh you really do blow my mind

yeah you really do blow my mind.

Ritornello

Ritornello is a music term and means little return. i named this passage Ritornello because sometimes you can give someone the world and they possibly wouldnt even thank you.

he said: I love you.
she said she dont care.

So i wrote you a song, but you didn't say thank you, you mustn't of said it loud enough.
so i went and brought you some flowers and a box of chocolaters but i still couldnt hear it.
i told you i loved you but you didnt say it back, you prolly wasnt listening. i told you i missed you but you was busy. i told you i was upset but you was prolly not there. i told you i need you and you said...you said you didn't care.
i asked you what i did wrong, you said: what do you do right. i told you i waited for you for half the night.
so i sat in my room, letting my mind wander free and it came to me like lighting how couldnt i see, that i dont mean a thing to you, only a thing on the bottom of your shoe
i make excuses i let you be
but the end of the day you wouldnt do a thing for me.
He said: im done
She said she dont care.
he moved on and she was left striped bare.

Mistaken melodies

Everyone makes mistakes.
My mum always told me that.
everyone tells everyone that, "everyone makes mistakes"
and its true,everyone does make mistakes, nobodys perfect and quite frankly life would be boring if we all were perfect.

but dont you just hate it, when you know you did the right thing but part of you,despite the reasons and everything for why you did it in the first place, regrets doing the mistake that you now call it, i hate that alot.

so now, im going to vent into a poem =).


she shut her memory box, locked it up and hid it in the loft and made sure it was directly above her bedroom. she sat down stairs and had a cup of tea, she thought of the old time and all the memories.

letting someone go was never easy, especially when you could of been friends, but there were issues, she saw him alot more as just a friend, unlike him, her feelings were not a button which she could turn on and off whenever she pleased, she'd washed her hands and she was done, she told him so.she had to let him go, move on away from all the bollocks,even if it ment being down for a while.

after a few weeks she cheered up, she moved on, she re-decorated her room, she got a hair cut, she went out more and laughed alot too, she tossed him aside in her mind with all the old memories, she never spoke of him, or spoke to him, infact she just allowed herself to float away from him, in the sea of exchanged words.

but despite it all, the goodbyes and good luck's the endless conversations and the cut of from all forms of relationships and such she was always His little drama geek and that part of her was never going to go away,ever.



Haha i hope the whole "after a few weeks" thing happens to me, i need to meet exciting people, do fun things, i need to just get away...

Letter to an unlistening ear.

Dear....Someone,

Thanks alot, for deciding to shut me out of your life, thank you very much for treating me like a toy.

Im not a machine, im not something you break and then try to fix and give up on,im a fucking person, i have feelings and i cant belive the way you treat me, i've been pretty decent to you, i personally think and i cant belive the way you throw me out of your pram and then decide you miss me.

we have been on this rollicoaster for over a year and now im done, you've shut me out so many times and now im done, i hope you realise one day just how much of a twat you are, im done with all this " i miss you im crazy about you" lead me up the garden path and fuck with my head.

im saying goodbye and this time, its for good.

Sadie-Rae.

Untrue Kisses

I know were not together.

but im not going to play your game,

you can kiss all the girls you like, but im just sticking to my morials,

you think its okay, to play me around to break my heart and let it fall to the ground,

you think its easy to watch you kiss her but i know your ways, i know you.

when you kiss her with your untrue kisses, your eyes glance over and you make sure i get a clear view, you think im over you, but you havent a clue, everytime i look at you i just dont know what to do, but you just kiss that girl with them untrue kisses and ill just walk away from your untrue ways.

Im not saying your a monster, your just doing the wrong thing, i made it perfectly clear i still wanted to be with you, i might of said the wrong things, sometimes i wish i never said a thing, but i just didnt want to get hurt, but you wouldnt know, you wouldnt understand instead you make me see what im missing and i cant blame you but what am i going to do,

ill leave you to your

untrue kisses

untrue kisses

untrue kisses

A Simple Melody

If Music Be The Food Of Love,Play On.- William Shakespeare



Just A Girl



you, you act like you care, you, you think im always going to be there but sometimes i feel as though im done, with your mood swings,your sence of mind.One second you want me the next you don't, i feel like im loosing my mind.you hold my hand but sometimes you let go, you said you love me, but i just don't know.

but



Im just a girl and you're just a boy,you say you're sorry and i say im done, you push me away and i just end up falling again back into your arms when really i should of moved on.



i think of all the memories, the times you made me smile, im convinced theres a good side of you,i just havent seen it in a while.the way you ignore me drives me insain, the way you act like you dont care when it causes me pain. i really should just say goodbye and never see you again but everytime i seem to try i just can't seem to pull through



Im just a girl and you're just a boy you say you're sorry and i say im done,you push me away and i just end up falling again back into your arms when i really should of moved on.



what do i know? im only seventeen a teenage girl can't possibly be inlove thats just obscene.
well im just a girl and i happen to love that boy and despite the fact he toys with me i dont have the heart to say " im done, im sorry"

By Sadie-Rae =)

The Key Holder ♥

It interests me so much as to how easy Music can change our mood.

She sits and watches, it's raining and shes standing in the middle of the road with a broken umbrella, his walked away from her and she has let him go, let his hands slip.

she can try to fool herself and say his hands slipped away simply because it was raining but she knew he slipped away because he just didnt want her anymore, he wanted the other girl. She was always going to come second to that other girl...

Yet five minutes after his departure she's still standing there in the same place, as he walked away five minutes previous she thought of all the things that went through together, all the highs and the lows all the rights and wrongs, she took punches for him, she took hits and she would do it over and over again just to have him fall back into her again, she loved him.

But what good is a heart when it is broken,what good are words if they make no sence and what good is love when not everyone can have it?

Eventually the rain stops, and the sun shines brightly on her face, she takes down the umbrella,she looks at the blue sky and she smiles as she turns her back on the history with the boy who would never find her to be good enough for him and as she walks away she walks forward, into the hands of the Key Holder ♥

Seven Steps Ahead...

Inspirations

To be perfectly honest, in the last year i have mattured,Alot.

I've also experienced some deep moments throughout 2009 and the begining of 2010. this is kinda what gives me inspirations to write poems and stuff, its up to people if they like them or not,im not saying im good, its just a way of letting things out rather then just bottling them up i write about it, i guess thats just how i deal with it =)

I have decided to call this post seven steps ahead

because when you grow up you walk forward.

the first step was leaving my old school to forfill my abitions in becoming an actress.

the second was to stop being so caring about what people think, no matter how much you try to change your always going to be you, so just accept it.

the third was seeing someone and relising its best to let them go.

the fourth ...well i havent got there yet

but im pretty sure in the near future i will

and when i do

it shall be called

Seven steps ahead, completed

=D

Untitled Inner Thoughts

Sit down,tell me its okay.

but i see the way you look at that girl, the one that makes your nose crinkle and your toes curl a little.

Shes beautiful i know,flawless and perfect but does she love you too? i know it hurts to see her flitter around with boys when she should be with you.



I know im not the best looking, nothing special to capture, but i've always cared about you and loved you, just that little bit.

To you my words speak out to you, but you dont even know their actually written about you.





Let me know what you think =D ♥

Introductions

Well first off, my name is Sadie-Rae and i like to write, alot.

i write poems, lyrics,stories anything really even random nonsence that makes no sence what so ever.

im really bad when it comes to explaining myself and i often annoy others, im clumbsey and i talk alot...

im weird

but you'll learn to love me =)

x